At the tail end of last week, I was fortunate enough to interview Betsy Brandt, an actress you will likely know best for her work as Marie Schrader on AMC’s Breaking Bad, for the AV Club. As of this writing, the interview hasn’t gone live (although you’ll be able to tell when it has, because I’ll have added a link to the piece right here), but even when it does, it will be missing the segment that you’re about to read. Why? Well, the fact of the matter is that it simply wasn’t on topic. With that said, however, it was one of the funnier experiences I’ve had take place during an interview, so I couldn’t resist sharing it…and I presume that Ms. Brandt won’t mind, either, given that she Tweeted about it almost immediately after it took place.
Oh, and for those of you who’ve read the interview already and would like a bit of continuity, these events took place immediately after Betsy observes of Marie, “She is really, really into purple,” and at their conclusion, I cheerily picked up the conversational thread as if nothing had happened. (“So Marie’s really, really into purple, you say…”)
Ready or not, here we go…
Betsy Brandt: Is that…a wasp in my house? [Leans away from the phone.] Get the fuck outta here! I have children! I don’t need you! Where did that come from? Oh, it is an ugly thing. Get out! [Several seconds of silence.] Now I don’t know where it is. All right, we’re just going to live dangerously. We’re just going to live dangerously. Wasp, where are you? He is ugly! Not that I’d be okay if a good-looking one stung me… Oh, no, he’s still there! I really don’t know what this is. All right, you keep talking, and I’m just gonna… [Pauses.] I really…if I have a spider or something, I try and, y’know, like, move them out of my house. But then I feel like there’s a line. And when you cross it, that’s it for me. I’m sorry, if it’s between me and you, you go down. [Another pause.] I’m scared. If this attacks me, afterwards call 911 and tell them I need help.
AV Club: I certainly will.
BB: Oh, God, no, he took off! Shit! Now he’s flying around! [Starts laughing.] This is not what you signed on for, I know…
AVC: No, but this is some awesome color commentary. Just let me know if he comes back.
BB: He’s on the window. I’m gonna go for it.
AVC: Do it.
BB: It’s just…fuck! He knows I’m after him. We’ve got this cat-and-mouse thing… [Several seconds of silence, followed by a “thunk” and, immediately thereafter, a very loud victory yell.] I won! He’s totally not dead, but he’s on the floor and… [To the wasp.] Oh, God, now I have to kill you just because it’s just…oh, my God. My heart rate is so fast!
AVC: You are the one who knocks!
BB: [Bursts out laughing.] I am the danger, wasp! You put that stinger away! I am the danger! Oh, my God. Here I am, going, “Oh, yes, please, write me an action scene!” And I just killed this wasp, and, oh, God, my heart is racing… But, okay, I think we can carry on now. [To the wasp.] I’m sorry. It had to be you or me, okay? I’m sorry!